Early Signs of abuse and Domestic Violence

What is a domestic violence?

In criminal laws, domestic violence may be defined as "any criminal offense involving violence or physical harm or threat of violence or physical harm" committed by one family or household member against another. The legal definition of domestic violence differs from state to state in the Unites States and only a competent legal attorney can help you in specific cases where an act will constitute a domestic violence in a particular jurisdiction or not.


Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, mostly refers to an act when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. However, the parties in the domestic violence may be any member of family, need not be spouses.

Domestic violence is not discriminate

Domestic violence is not discriminate and happens across sexes, age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and economic levels. Though some presumptions like men are more abusive, children are victims; this is not true that stereotypes are always true. In many cases, women have also been found to be perpetrators of domestic violence and similarly, sometimes children can be abusive towards parents and elders in the family.

Forms of domestic violence

There can be several types of domestic violence. Some of the most common types are as follows:

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse can be defined as the threat of harm or any forceful physical behavior that intentionally or accidentally causes bodily harm or property destruction, for example grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, biting, arm-twisting, kicking, punching, hitting with blunt objects, stabbing, shooting, etc.

Withholding access to resources necessary to maintain health is also physical abuse, for example medication, medical care, wheelchair, food or fluids, sleep, hygienic assistance Forcing alcohol or other drug use.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent. There are several examples: marital rape, acquaintance rape, forced sex after physical beating, attacks on the sexual parts of the body, forced prostitution, fondling, sodomy, sex with others.

In addition, attempting to undermine the victim' sexuality which demeans or humiliates the partner and instigates feelings of shame or vulnerability - particularly in regards to the body, sexual performance or sexuality. The examples are: treating him/her in a sexually derogatory manner, criticizing sexual performance and desirability, accusations of infidelity, withholding sex.

Emotional/Psychological Abuse

Undermining or attempting to undermine victim sense of worth by any use of words, voice, action or lack of action meant to control, hurt or demean another person. The examples are: constant criticism, belittling victim's abilities and competency, name-calling, insults, put-downs, silent treatment, manipulating victim's feelings and emotions to induce guilt, subverting a partner's relationship with the children, repeatedly making and breaking promises.

Financial Abuse

Financial abuse is the use or misuse, without the partner's freely given consent, of the financial or other monetary resources of the partner or of the partnership. The examples are: maintaining total control over financial resources including victim's earned income or resources received through public assistance or social security, withholding money and/or access to money, forbidding attendance at school, forbidding employment, on-the-job harassment, requiring accountability and justification for all money spent, forced welfare fraud, withholding information about family running up bills for which the victim is responsible for payment.

Psychological

Instilling or attempting to instil fear in the victim, for example: intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, victim, and/or others, threatening to harm and/or kidnap children, menacing, blackmail, harassment, destruction of pets and property, mind games, stalking.

Another form of psychological abuse could be isolating or attempting to isolate victim from friends, family, school, and/or work example: withholding access to phone and/or transportation, undermining victim's personal relationships, harassing others, constant "checking up,- constant accompaniment, use of unfounded accusations, forced imprisonment

How to recognise that you are a victim?

The long list above should give you a fair idea of what could be an abuse. If you feel you have been subjected to or is being subjected to some kind of abuse mentioned above, it is time to take corrective action. You need not consult a domestic violence lawyer yet but start talking to your partner or seek help from friends and other members of family whom you can trust. If the situation warrants, consult police or a lawyer.

Signs of someone being subjected to domestic violence

When you are not victim yourself, it's impossible to know with certainty what goes on behind closed doors. But there are some symptoms and signal of emotional abuse and domestic violence which you can observe in a victim. Do you observe- They seems afraid or anxious to please their partners, always confirms to partner's line of thinking and behavior Regularly reports to the partner where they are and what they're doing. Signs of physical violence on body with the excuse of -accidents.- Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation. Likes to spend time in isolation, depressed, anxious, or suicidal Is restricted from seeing family and friends, going out alone or altogether, have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car. Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.

The list is not exhaustive and can have several other symptoms.

If you witness any warning signs of abuse in a person you know, take them very seriously. You could help the victim escape an abusive situation and take corrective steps by talking to him/her in private and let him or her know that you're concerned.

If you are confident that there is a serious case of domestic violence and the victim is willing to cooperate, you may seek legal help or consult police or appropriate authorities for his or her case. In case the victim is not willing to cooperate, alert the appropriate authorities to help the victim. You could even call a domestic violence attorney to seek free consultation for the next appropriate action.

Source: New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence

About the Author

Joel Silberman is criminal defense attorney in New Jersey. He practices in the areas of Murder/Manslaughter, Drug Offenses, Guns &Weapons Offenses, Theft & Robbery, Domestic Violence, Sex Crimes, Assault, Racketeering/RICO, Fraud, DUI, DWI & Refusal, Traffic Offenses, Expungements. He can be reached at (201)-273-7070 or Toll Free (800)-889-3129 or email him at .